I know what some may be thinking, why would you want to deny an orgasm? Sometimes it is not about complete denial, but controlling when it happens. Orgasm denial is also known as edging, peaking, or surfing. I personally like edging as it makes for a more intense orgasm when I allow myself to have one. Think of the orgasm as the destination on a trip. It isn't about the destination, but how you get there. Orgasm denial can keep the receiver aroused for a period of time. I have noticed the longer I edge, the more intense the orgasm. There can be both physical and psychological satisfaction derived from orgasm denial.
As always with this blog, I want to stress safety. If it is not safe, then it is not fun and ruins the entire experience. All involved should discuss likes and expectations. Physical and psychological satisfaction was previously mentioned. Think about how the experience will impact both the dom and sub. Take the time to think it through to make sure the experience impacts how it is intended.
Do talk with participants to see what they like or dislike. If you end up doing something that is not enjoyable or is too painful, the experience could be ruined. Do trim fingernails. For one, dirty fingernails can have germs and bacteria. For another, internal tissues are more tender and can get cut or damaged by a long fingernail. Many recommend milking the prostate frequently. This is because there can be a buildup of fluid for men which can lead to bacteria growth. Milking the prostate can help clear out any buildup.
Don’t rush things. Rushing could lead to unintentional injury or a less enjoyable experience. It is about how you get there, not the destination. Don’t proceed without discussing what will happen. If someone has a hard limit and you do not discuss it, it could turn the experience bad. Do not use chastity without knowing what you are doing. It is not just simply putting a chastity device on and that is it. There are precautions and warning signs to look for in case of injury. Remember, it should be fun and safe.
One type of orgasm denial is called complete denial. Chastity devices are often used with this type of orgasm denial. Complete denial is when there is no stimulation to the genitals at all. Complete denial can last from two weeks to 2 months or more. However when first starting out, shorter periods of time should be used to get used to the process and be able to change things as needed. This can increase the sexual need of the participant who is being denied. They will likely be more attentive and be willing to do as instructed if it means they might be able to have release. Complete denial can also help increase orgasm control, which can come in handy in many situations. This can help to solidify the power dynamic between a dom and a sub.
Edging is another type of orgasm denial that is very similar to complete denial but allows for genital stimulation. Edging is also called a tie and tease when the receiver is in bondage. Bondage is known for increasing arousal for all participants. A ruined orgasm is another type of orgasm denial. What is a ruined orgasm you say?
A ruined orgasm is an orgasm that happens like usual but that is not enjoyable. Once past the point of orgasm, something is done to take attention or enjoyment away. This can be done by doing one or more of the following: stop stimulation, give discomfort or pain, or blocking ejaculation. Inflicting pain is not something everyone is in to, and it does not have to be a lot. The point is to take attention away from the orgasm so that it is not enjoyed. Blocking an orgasm can happen by squeezing the penis around the base just under the glans or by putting a finger over urethra.
There are several things that can be done to make orgasm control more enjoyable. One tip is to use dice and assign different things to each number of the die. Maybe instead of not allowing genital stimulation, the sub can earn stimulation by completing certain tasks. Offer an incentive for the sub to deny themselves and show some self-control. When denying orgasm, maybe only allowing stimulation by specific methods can be allowed. Of course, one way to tease a sub in orgasm denial is to give them a little striptease dance or masturbate in front of them.