Getting Lost In The Moment

When was the last time you were having sex, and you got lost in the moment of it? How many of you while you are having sex, have a million other thoughts going through your head when you're doing the act? Do not laugh, because there are quite a few more of us out there than you might think.

The reason I thought of this subject, is because my own husband was honest with me many years ago and said that when he's having sex, he's thinking about other things as well sometimes. Nothing that I can necessarily change but he felt the need to tell me this. Well, I do from time to time as well too. I could be getting banged at a great rhythm and feeling good and be thinking about if I forgot to shut the fridge door, or that the gas and light bill is due next Monday. Seriously we need for this to stop! LOL. I have been working on this myself, and it seems to be helping, but it might be different for others. I simply try to shut my brain off during intimacy. It's not as easy as it sounds. It takes a lot of practice.

One way I have been able to do this is to get my partner interested in sensual lovemaking. We trace each other's bodies with our fingertips while making out. You must do it slowly or otherwise, it doesn't work and you could be doing a wham bam thank you ma'am and that is not the point. While doing this focus on the feeling of your partner's hands caressing and tracing your naked body, while you’re tasting their tongue in your mouth. Just focus on those feelings and nothing else. If the tedious call the repair man or check your calendar thought comes in, simply ignore it, and then go back to focusing on the touch. You must try this multiple times, and then try to feel your partner's energy by having your bare skin touch their bare skin. Simply feel that contact and feel the energy exchanging between your bodies. Once you get to this state of shutting off your brain and focusing on this, oh my let me tell you, it just keeps getting better.

Now a thing you might want to try if you simply cannot shut your mind off is to use a toy. A sex toy will help you focus on the act, as you will be using an object to commit a sexual act. So your focus will be on the sex toy. Now we can start by using the basic dildo or masturbator, or you and your partner can let your mind go wild.

When you are using a masturbator on your partner your focus will be on making sure he is having extreme pleasure. Which should take your focus off the tasks that you have to complete the following week.

This blog was written from my point of view as a gay male.  When using sex toys, you can change that toy up to fit the person no matter what gender they identify as.  Whether it is a straight person, gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, or non-binary, the topics in this blog can be applied to anyone.