Safe Words and Consent in BDSM

I do not think that over talking this subject is a bad thing. There are tons of different posts, articles, and discussions going around that talk about using a safe word, and also talking about consent. Not only will both create a safe environment for all parties involved but will also make sure that all parties will enjoy the moment. Its always best to maybe discuss this hours before the BDSM session or maybe a day or more before. Sometimes this could kill the mood depending on your kink.


Safe Words - Safe words are used when a person is at their limit of comfort. It does not always mean a physical distress but could also be mental. Remember that role play and BDSM can be mentally challenging depending on each individual. You also need to take into consideration that your partner might have had an abusive past and something during the play could trigger a bad memory. It would also be good for your partner to be open about those triggers during the consent or contract talk.


When deciding on a safe word you both need to be clear as to everything will stop, take a pause and start again, or do you end the play all together. Both parties need to be prepared that there could of been something that has happened during the play that the play is no longer fun or exciting and one party might not want to continue.




Your safe word is also a way to let your partner know if you maybe been hurt, or it was getting too intense. Now for example me and my partner have two ways we communicate during play especially impact play and choke play. We use the Red Light, Yellow Light, Green Light Method.


How the this method works is pretty simple, and we like it. So for an example, lets say hes choking me why hes putting it in me. I would say yellow light if I was at the point that it was enjoyable but any more pressure would cause me distress to where I would then say Red light. If the choking was not enough I would say green light so he would know that he could do more.


To get the play to stop because it was too intense we just say stop. We haven't done play where Stop turns us on, its still the main safe word to end the play to reevaluate. Then decide if the play will continue or not.


Consent- Now Consent some say should be before play and through out play too. We agree! You need to know what to expect out of your play sessions, and where each others limits are and how you are going to do the play session. Sometimes this is best to do at a dinner, or over the phone before meeting for the BDSM session.


We have been doing a lot of our own sex education by watching some sexperts on You Tube. Here is one we partially like and have learned quite a bit from. Check out this video on consent from the folks at Watts The Safeword.




We will be posting a much more frequently on such sex topics as these to help everyone find out the information they are wanting to learn about BDSM and Kinks. We hope you got something from this post. If you did please share it on Social Media!




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