Have you been having the best sex in your life, I mean hes putting it to you really good, and you are totally lost in the feeling and the rhythm of his hard thick meat going in and out of your ass then all of a sudden a random thought runs through your head. Did you forget to send that email, the bills are piling up, or you wonder how long your going to keep having a good sex life or all of the above, and all of a sudden your either tired from the overthinking and you start dozing off or you go limp and loose interest in the task at hand. It happens to much more of us then you think, and there are ways to help combat it.
We are firm believers that mental health is important to sexual health and vice versa. So the both really do go hand in hand. Our thoughts become our life, and our life can sometimes become our thoughts.
Mindfulness is where you focus on being in the present moment. I mean when we go to have sex, were doing it to feel pleasure, and to feel good and sometimes show love to our partners. Were not going to pretend that there is not a large group of others that have random sex. Were wanting to arm everyone to help prevent overthinking why having sex with everybody. Sex is to be enjoyed and you need to be able to focus on the pleasure and not other random thoughts.
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Jumping into mindfulness during sex is probably a bit too much for most people – it can often be morphed and downgraded into forms of performance anxiety.
The better solution is to start with simple, everyday actions. You also don’t have to do it for very long – 10 minutes a day is a great start. Heck, even a couple minutes is great! There’s also no need for a special place or equipment. You don’t need candles, yoga mats, special clothes, or incense.
Practice focusing on details while you…
Brush your teeth
Wash your face
Cook a meal
Choose your clothes for the day
Ride to work
Wait in line or for something
Slowly eat or drink
Talk to someone
Once you are able to focus on things you normally do with detail you can start applying it in the bedroom. You will want to start slowly focusing on certain things or acts during sex, to start with. If you start off thinking and focusing on how your partner kisses your stomach, and how it feels, along with what their left hand is doing in between your thighs, and how that is making you feel. Just focus one pleasure at a time.
Sometimes switch back and forth. Focus on the kisses on the stomach for a while, then focus again on the hand in between the thighs for a while. Practice this a few times before trying to focus on all the sensory items at once or you could go right back to overthinking things and might have an anxious moment. I know I have been there.
Right Before Having Sex
So right before having sex, you will want to give your self at least 15 mins to 30 mins to get in the proper mindset for sex. You do this by shutting your brain down, and forget what happened during your day, and stop thinking all together. Just breathe deep, and slowly 1 by 1 start shutting down the topics going through your mind at the moment.
Once you have slowed down or stopped your thinking, you need to start programming it for the task at hand. Start getting yourself self aroused and in the mood. Start thinking about what pleasure you are wanting to get out of the upcoming session with your partner. Remember to keep breathing, and do not let your mind think about more then the task at hand, and that is to have one hell of a pleasurable sex session.
Thank you for reading our blog, and also why your here stop by the Dungeon and see the large selection of sex toys and kink gear.