Updated: Mar 4
Do you ever set yourself up with new objectives or goals to reach each, new year? I bet you do like the most of us. But with objectives and goals, they have endings, and when you talk about sexual wellness, well none of us want to think of an end to that.
To have good sexual wellness you have to follow certain steps and make a commitment to do them. When you start putting a little bit more of a focus on your sexual wellness, there are other health benefits that tend to happen both physically and mentally.
People need to realize that our sexual sides of us are who we are. It will take commitment and total practice to be able to master this. Here are some tips so you can start taking control of your sexual wellness in 2019.
Take care of yourself. If you’ve been having any pain, physical discomfort, mental discomfort, make this year the year you take care of yourself. Contact doctors and/or therapists, and get yourself the care you need. Even sex therapists if the reason your in the dumps because your sex life is sucking right now.
If you’re struggling with issues surrounding sex, you can’t enjoy yourself. It makes it hard to relax; it makes it hard to be playful; and it makes it hard to explore your sexuality and sensuality. You deserve to feel pleasure and to be pain-free. Help is available. Overall, wellness is the greatest indicator of sexual wellness.
Communicate. Make this the year you start talking to your partner(s) about sex, your needs, their needs, and get detailed. If you want to be caressed a certain way tell them. If you want them to pound you a certain way, let them know! It can feel very vulnerable and uncomfortable to tell someone what you like and what you don’t like. You may worry you’ll scare someone off or hurt their feelings. But the more you keep things to yourself, the more UN-enjoyable sex can become, and the more likely you are to begin feeling resentful toward your partner. For your wellness, the wellness of your relationship, and of your partner, start talking more.
Start Scheduling Sex . Some people love to schedule sex, while others find it uncomfortable for a variety of reasons. It may not be what you would prefer, but for most people, if things don’t get scheduled they don’t get done. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but the more you do it, the more comfortable it will become. Over time, it may become something you look forward to! You can’t reap the benefits of sex and intimacy if you don’t make the space to experience these things.
Don't Wait For the Desire Create It! You don’t need to feel desire to have sex. You can show up with your partner, and create desire by starting to touch each other, kiss each other, relax together, and opening up to the pleasure of sensations. When you do this, you may find that you create desire, and you continue to go forward toward sex (whatever that means to you). Or, you may find you can’t get into it, so you stop and show up another time to try. It’s normal not to have desire for sex at your beck and call. It’s also normal if you do have it. But you don’t have to wait, you can create your own. Try watching porn with your partner if the above tips do not help you get the desire you are wanting in order to have sex.
Sexual Wellness and making sure we focus on this part of our health is just as important as watching our cholesterol. It helps keep our blood pressure low, our endorphins going to make us happy, and less stress.